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Facts of the Matter

A weekly letter of encouragement and challenge to business and professional men and women
Wednesday, October 19, 2016
Dear Colleagues,

WHY OUR MARRIAGE REALLY WORKS AFTER THESE 43 YEARS! (Part 4 of 4)

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In the last three weeks we have discussed the fact that:

1) We learned how to mutually accept each other as uniquely designed by God

2) We have been committed to the same purpose and calling in life: “Can two walk together, unless they are agreed? (Amo. 3:3)

3) We determined that we would serve each other over and above ourselves:

4) We built our marriage on a solid biblical foundation : “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.” (Matt. 7:24, 25) (See Pro. 24:3,4)

From before our engagement we understood:

– The importance of the daily quiet time. By that I mean a specified time daily, preferably the first thing in the morning, for prayerful meditation on the word of God. We realized that without this vital connection with God we would not become the Christ like person our spouse would love through thick and thin.

– That we needed to know how God intended for us to live, especially as it pertained to a biblical marriage relationship. Thus, we internalized passages like Ephesians 5:21-33; I Peter 3:1-12 and I Corinthians 13:4-8.

QUESTION : What action steps do you need to take to begin building a solid foundation of God’s word into your life? One place to start is to carve out 10 minutes, the first thing in the morning. Prayerfully meditate on a small portion of Scripture.

5) We learned how to maintain communications with each other:

We understood that communication is :

– “The meeting of meanings” (Paul Tournier)

– Understanding the meaning behind the words spoken.

– Learning and responding to your spouses “love language”: Words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, physical touch (“ The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman

– Recognizing that talking and having sex is not necessarily communication.

– Learning the art of disciplined listening – with the head and the heart.

– Learning to respect the other person’s point of view.

– Attacking the problematic issue rather than the person.

– Courageously facing and resolving problems, rather than sweeping them under the rug.

– Not allowing bitterness or resentment to remain in the relationship.

(See Pro. 17:27; 18:21; Col. 3:19; Jms. 1:19, 20

We learned how to establish and maintain communication, by planning quality time together .

– We planed for a daily quality connection – even if it is only for a few minutes. Pray together

– We planned a weekly date night.

– We scheduled monthly or quarterly blocks of time together to evaluate, plan, re-connect, and have fun.

QUESTION : Do you think your spouse feels that the two of you are in fact in touch with each other at the deepest level? One suggestion: Schedule a day or two on your calendar where the two of you can get away to re-connect. One goal would be to find out if either of you harbor resentment or bitterness toward the other.

This week, may you experience His grace, peace, and protection

R. Dwight Hill

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