Facts of the Matter

A weekly letter of encouragement and challenge to business and professional men and women
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Dear Colleagues,


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Ever wonder why you jump out of your skin when a sensually attractive woman breezes past you? There is a little thing called the automatic nervous system, or ANS.1  Our bodys sexual response is activated by ANS which is  controlled not by the will, but by the environment.  Thus, your initial sexual response is involuntary.  The visual stimulation in particular tells the brain that it is time to get sexually aroused. The brain then sends chemicals through the body. As men, we know what happens next:  Our pulse rate increases, our body temperature often rises, and blood begins to pump rapidly through our body. The arousal process is activated like a herd of stampeding buffaloes.  And the force can be overpowering. 

Once your sexual appetite is aroused, it screams to be satisfied.  Attempting to alter the natural biological urges can be excruciating.  Thats because every impulse in you cries out for satisfaction.  Yet those stampeding buffaloes inside of you do not absolve you from taking control of that arousal and responding in a godly fashion. You must choose how you are going to respond to that seductive skirt that just sauntered by.

ConsiderThe temptation to give in to evil comes from us and only us. We have no one to blame but the leering, seducing flare-up of our own lust. Lust gets pregnant, and has a baby: sin! Sin grows up to adulthood, and becomes a real killer.  There’s nothing in it for us, nothing at all. The best thing to do is give it a decent burial and get on with your new lifeIf by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live.  (Jms. 1:14, 15; Rom. 8:13b Msg)

So, just how do I deal in a godly fashion with a seductive woman and the raging buffaloes?

  I need to know and intelligently appropriate what Gods word says about sex, temptation and victory: Personally, I have memorized most of the verses in the Bible on the subject of sex.  You and I need to arm ourselves for this warfare because our very survival depends on it. I need to master and claim the biblical passages dealing with temptation, and the promise of victory.  A good place to start is with a careful analysis of the passages in Proverbs 5 and 7 that address the issue of the loose woman.  Also examine Matt. 5:27-30; Eph. 5:1-7; Eph. 6:10-18; Col. 3:5; 1 Thes. 4:3-8; 2 Tim. 2:22)

  I need to understand the importance of the Spirits empowerment:  Live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature.  (Gal. 5:16) I need to get with Christ and get my heart full of Him before entering the war zone of sensuality that is persuasive everywhere I turn.  I suggest that you carefully analyze Romans 8:1-4,12; Galatians 5:25; 6:7, 8; 1 Peter 1:22, and Jude 1:19. Also consider doing an in depth study of Romans 6 8.

  As a man, I must determine to avoid like the plague the places that sexually assault my senses: Trash on the internet and media; places that pander to my lower nature, etc. (See Psa. 101:3; Pro. 4:14,15; 2 Tim. 2:22)

  If I am married, I need to explain to my wife how men are wired sexually:  Many women have little knowledge of the differences between the sexes in terms of sexual stimulation and drive.  I need to explain to my wife that a mans sexual drive must be met. At home. If there is a difference in sexual drive between you and your wife and in most couples there is an agreement steeped in sensitivity and compassion needs to be worked out that meets both partys needs: The husband should not deprive his wife of sexual intimacy, which is her right as a married woman, nor should the wife deprive her husband. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband also gives authority over his body to his wife. So do not deprive each other of sexual relations.  (I Cor. 7:3-5a NLT)

  I need to be accountable to an individual or to a band of brothers:  Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. (Ecc. 4:9-13) Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.  (Jms. 5:16)

  If I fail, I need to get up and start again: Though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again, but the wicked are brought down by calamity. (Pro. 24:16) (See Psa. 37:24; 2 Cor. 1:8-10; 2 Cor. 4:8-11) 

1  Key idea drawn from, Secret Keeper, by Danna Gresh, Moody Press, Chicago, pages 33-35

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