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Facts of the Matter

A weekly letter of encouragement and challenge to business and professional men and women
Wednesday, May 29, 2002
Dear Colleagues,

AN OPEN LETTER TO A CLOSE FRIEND ABOUT SEXUAL TEMPTATIONS

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Dear Andy,

I dont know how I could be more proud of you. You really have your act together. You know where you are going career-wise, have a quality marriage, and are growing spiritually. But here is a sobering fact: Better men then youcertainly better men then I, today are living diminished lives of grave disappointment. In my wildest imagination I would not have guessed that they would have fallen. I am talking here about sexual temptation. I pray for myself and for you that this will never happen; that we will remain pure. Not a common feat in todays unimaginably permissive and undisciplined society.

I would like to make a few observations and comments to you and reminders to myself on this subject:

#1 Women love powerful, successful men who know where they are going. They are also attracted to gentle, sensitive, and caring men. Because you possess these qualities, you can be sure you will encounter attractive women who will want intimacy with you. (See Gen. 39:5-7; Pro. 7:13-18)

 

#2 There is a level of titillation and allurement that all of us find irresistible. Believe it. Do you know what that level is? Are you resolved to never be put into a position to find out? (See 2 Sam. 11; Pro. 22:3; Jms. 1:14,15)

 

#3 Do you really think it could never happen to you? If so, you are already half way there toward committing the sin. It happens to the men who least think it will happen to them. Ray Johnson told me that many of the hot shot pilots he knew in Viet Nam are dead. Because he viewed himself as a so-so pilot, he played it cautious, and is still alive. A former U. S. Presidents son pushed the envelope and perished. (See 1 Cor. 10:12)

#4 Tiny little indulgences can easily develop later into irreversible and destructive patterns: flirting, touching, sharing confidences, dipping now and then into pornography, etc. (Pro. 5:3-5,22; 7:21-27; 22:14; Ecc. 7:26)

#5 Sensual dads run the high probability of producing sensual daughters. Daddys little girl intuitively senses the sensuality in her father, and what men like. Is that what we want to produce in our daughters? (Exo. 20:5)

So, what is a man to do? Well, here are a few suggestions:

 

#1 Regularly, pray defensively against temptations and encounters with sensual women. (Matt. 6:13)

#2 Get into some kind of genuine accountability situation with another man or group of men. (Jms. 5:16)

#3 Avoid like the plague sexually stimulating input from the media, and emotional involvement with any woman other than your wife. (Pro. 6:20-32; 7:24-27; 9:16-18; Rom. 6:12,13; 1 Cor. 6:18; 2 Tim. 2:22; 1 Pet. 2:11)

#4 Memorize and claim Scriptures relevant to sexual temptation. Out of desperation, I probably have memorized every verse in the Bible on the subject. (Psa. 119:9-11; Pro. 6:20 – 29)

#5 Work diligently at maintaining quality and quantity time (daily/weekly) with your wife. Dont loose touch!

#6 Anticipate and prudently avoid alluring situations before they occur. A friend of mine who is a commercial pilot has his wife call ahead to the hotel where he will be staying, and ask them to unplug the R and X rated stuff before he arrives, after a long day of flying. (Pro. 14:16; 27:12)

#7 Visualize your daughters wedding day. If you have violated her trust, how will it affect that day?

#8 Recognize that the only thing that will keep you in that moment of temptation is a deep, abiding, intimacy with Christ, which we all know is something that is cultivated daily, through meaningful time with Him.

Warmly,

Dwight Hill

 

 

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