Facts of the Matter

A weekly letter of encouragement and challenge to business and professional men and women

Archive for May, 1998

Wednesday, May 27, 1998


Good Morning!

#l. Strive to do another’s will rather than our own.

“Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Mk. 10:43b-43)

#2. Choose always to have less than more.

“But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.”   (I Tim. 6:6-10)

#3. Seek the lower places in life, dying to the need to be recognized and important.

“…Do not be snobbish, high-minded, (or) exclusive, but give yourselves to humble tasks. Never overestimate yourself or be wise in your own conceits….Everything (the Pharisees) do is done for men to see. They love the place of honor at banquets and the most important seats in the synagogues; they love to be greeted in the marketplaces and to have men call them ‘Rabbi.”  (Rom. 12:16 Amplified; Matt. 23:5a-7)

#4. Always and in everything desire that the will of God may be completely fulfilled in you.

Christ: “…Fell with His face to the ground and prayed, `My Father, if it is possible, may this cup (the cross) be taken from Me. Yet not as 1 will, but as you will. “‘ (Matt.26:39b)

Paul: “However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me.” (Act. 20:24a)



My prayer is that you are having a great week!

Wednesday, May 20, 1998


Good Morning!

#1.  Ask and listen.  Ask her how her day went and then sit and listen attentively. Turn off the television and radio, and put down the newspaper.

#2  Keep your word.  If you said you would do something, do it. Write it in your schedule immediately and make it a priority above all others.

#3  Work on yourself.  This is probably the greatest gift you can give her by showing her that you love and honor her enough to make the necessary changes you need to make.

 #4  Say “I love you” a million times a year!  Tell her “I love you” until she is sick of hearing it. Say it when you feel overwhelmed  by your emotions for her and when you don’t feel like it.

#5.  Don’t avoid the issues by sweeping them under the rug.  After emotions have cooled, graciously identify and approach the problem and seek solutions. Otherwise resentment builds.

#6.  Wash the dishes.  Make a commitment to wash the dishes every night that she cooks the meal. Then keep your word for the entire week, month, etc…, with no reminders.

#7.  Be a reasonable father.  Get up and check on the kids when they cry in the middle of the night. Be careful not to overcorrect or be harsh with them. Lift the load with the kids.

#8.  Don’t ever compare her!  Especially to another woman in a negative or positive way. This includes your mother, previous girlfriends, co-workers, etc…

#9. Take out the garbage.  To the place where it is picked up. Do it without her asking you. And do it when she wants it done, not when you feel like doing it! Then replace the can liner, etc.

 #10  Don’t make her feel bad about money!  Don’t make her feel bad about buying special things for the house, gifts for the kids, her family, friends, you, or for herself.

I doubt that we men can possibly follow these suggestions without cultivating a close walk with Christ through time with Him. Only Christ can tame the beast in us!


My prayer is that you are having a great week!

Wednesday, May 13, 1998

MEN: WANT TO BEEF UP YOUR MARRIAGE? Then follow these few suggestions:

Good Morning!

#l.   Support her in front of the children. Whether or not you agree with her position or decisions, support her. Then, talk about the differences in private.

#2.  Make a will. What will happen with your finances if you were to die? If she were to die? If one of the kids were to die? Regularly talk about it and update the will.

#3. Quit whining! About money, health, job, being tired, etc..

#4.  Schedule her at least once a week for a special time together. Write it in your appointment book and allow nothing to make you late, forget or reschedule.

#5.  Pray together. At meals, at bedtime, at church, etc.. Pray with her about problems and situations that you are both facing individually, as a couple, with the children, etc..

#6. Learn not to be a perfectionist! Expectations can kill a relationship. Be specific about your needs and be patient when they are unmet.

#7. Never bring up her faults. Or remind her of her mistakes – especially in front of others. Learn to forgive, work to forget.

#8.  Ask her to give you input about you. Seek her input on areas that pertain to changes in your life. Don’t be defensive, and listen to what she says.

#9. Value the differences between you. Learn to acknowledge, accept, and respect the differences in the way that you and your wife think, feel, speak, etc.

#10.   Remember dates! Always remember dates which are important to her. But you should also remember the difficult ones like anniversaries of the deaths of her loved ones.

Far more important than your desire for a better marriage is God’s command that you live with your wife in a Biblical manner. If you choose not to, forget about your prayer life. God is not listening

“… You… men live considerately with your wives, with an intelligent recognition of the marriage relation, honoring the woman as physically the weaker, but realizing that you are joint heirs of the grace of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered and cut off  (I Pet. 5: 7 Amplified)



My prayer is that you are having a great week!

Wednesday, May 6, 1998


Good Morning!

Recently I met an old friend whom I had not been around in decades. He and his wife, while in their 20’s, exhibited hearts that seemed to burn for the living God. Today, graying and in their early 50’s, their lives are in shambles.

So he and I went for a long walk and I asked him what went wrong? PORNOGAPHY…”I  grew up with it in our home. Over these many years it has poisoned and controlled me, harming those closest to me.”

In some ways,. King Solomon’s life parallels that of my friend. In his prayer of dedication for the newly built temple to God, one senses his burning passion for God. (I Kings 8:22-53).

But just nine years later we read of his addiction to foreign women which led to his headstrong refusal to obey God:

“King Solomon…loved many foreign women…about which the Lord had told the Israelites,`You must not intermarry with them, because they will surely turn your hearts after their gods.”’

“Nevertheless, Solomon held fast to them in love…and his wives led him astray… (turning) his heart after other gods and his heart was not fully devoted to the Lord… “ {I Kings 11:1-4,5 )

So God stepped in to discipline him,

“…Since this is your attitude and you have not kept my covenant and my decrees…I will most certainly tear the kingdom away from you… “ (I Kings 11:11 )

Yet Solomon persisted in hardened disobedience, sinking to the point of attempting to murder Jereboam the man whom God had chosen to give a major portion of his kingdom to. (I Kings 11:29-33,40)

Reflecting on the tragic decline of these two men, I am reminded of Solomon’s own warning (how ironic!) for those who stubbornly CHOOSE TO CONTINUE to engage in sexual impropriety,

“At the end of your life you will groan, when your flesh and body are spent You will say,`How I hated discipline! How my heart spurned correction!”‘ (Prov. 5:1 l,12)

QUESTION: Do you have this sensitive, challenging area of your life under his control? If not, what do you think lies ahead for you, your spouse and your children?


My prayer is that you are having a great week!