Facts of the Matter

A weekly letter of encouragement and challenge to business and professional men and women
Wednesday, December 15, 1999
Dear Colleagues,

WHEN FAMILY AND SOCIETAL VALUES CONFLICT: “The greatest danger to those who would follow Jesus is not overt persecution by society, but subtle seduction by its values.”+

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Good Morning!

Two years ago Ruth and I dined with a couple who were are on the fast track professionally. Their four year old boy, the mother assured us, was getting adequate attention from her when she arrived home each evening around dinner time from her glamorous, but emotionally draining job.  We asked the couple their understanding of Titus 2:3-5:

“…Teach the older women to…train the younger women to love their husbands and children…to be busy at home…to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.” 

 Silence. Then awkward doublespeak about the changing roles of women in a modern society.

Two months ago we dined again with this couple and their (now) six year old boy. Immediately I was struck with how emotionally starved and out of control this child  appeared to be.

Recently, over breakfast with the father, I again broached the subject of parental priorities, expressing concern that their child seemed to lack love and discipline. This time he immediately concurred. And then the real truth came out:

 His wife’s parents, he informed me,  have been “emotionally blackmailing” his spouse to build a high profile career in appreciation for the sacrifice they had made in financing her blue chip education. The lad, they insisted, should be farmed out to a pre-school and maids when the mother is working. So, under their continuos pressure, he had abandoned his wife to emotionally twist in the wind.

Do not the Scriptures instruct us to “leave and cleave”? Isn’t the husband to be the head of his wife, shielding her from these abusive parents?  Should he not be taking a stand on priorities? (Gen.2:24; Eph. 5:21-23)  (I won’t even talk about the newly born baby who compounds the issue even further.)

A recent  U. S. survey indicates that there is now a dramatic swing away from married women who are heading into the market place. Instead, many are now returning home to raise their offspring. And guess who is leading the charge? 23 and 24 year old  mothers whose own mothers a generation ago put aside their  apron for a briefcase. And the reason for these young mothers’ evangelical zeal? 

“Mom was not home enough, and we’re not doing that to our kids!”

QUESTIONDo you have a Biblical perspective on family priorities, roles and responsibilities? Or are you also shifting with the fickled whims of our society?


My prayer is that you are having a great week!

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