With a history of promiscuity, personal insecurities, etc., etc., both brought excess baggage into the relationship that contributed toward constant conflict. Both however, had recently become followers of Christ and were committed to living out their marriage vows His way.
That was twenty years ago. Today I was on the phone with Sam as he mused over the fact that he and Jean had become “best friends.”
It seems to me there are several reasons for this remarkable transformation:
1 – Both were willing to humble themselves and seek out competent and godly counsel to help them identify and root out the origins of their problems:
“For lack of guidance a nation falls, but many advisers make victory sure.” (Pro. 11:14)
2 – Both were committed to spiritual growth: Consistent times of prayerful meditation upon God’s word:
“Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.” (Jos.1:8)
3 – Both surrounded themselves with godly people to whom they chose to be accountable; people from whom they gained supportive strength:
“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.” (Col. 3:16) (See I Thess. 4:18; 5:11; Heb. 12:12-15)
4 – Both were committed to persevering through their problems. In their minds divorce was never an option. Thus, they chose to face, rather than deny or ignore the critical issues:
“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” (Gal. 6:9) (See Rom. 5:3 ; I Cor. 15:58; 1 Thess. 3:13; Heb. 12:1-3; I Pet. 3:8-11)
Over the years, I have met few couples who did not face daunting challenges in their marriage. I have come to believe that marital success or failure is determined not by the size of the problems, but by whether or not the couple is willing to face and deal with the problematic issues, whatever the pain, whatever the cost.
Living as we do in a crybaby “if it feels good do it” society where marriage vows often read, “as long as we both shall love”, instead of “till death do we part,” we need to comprehend the fact that God hates divorce, and only granted it because of people’s hardness of heart. (Mal. 2:16; Mk. 10:2-9)
QUESTION: Are you demonstrating your commitment to your marriage by taking whatever steps are biblical and necessary to resolve the difficult issues that inevitably could destroy it? If not, why not?
My prayer is that you are having a great week!