I know of no more enslaving and damaging an issue than this one: The inner agony. The guilt. The despair. The havoc it brings into a husband-wife relationship.
There is no formula toward a solution, but let me put forth five steps toward gaining freedom:
#1 Accept His unconditional grace, along with your responsibility in working toward a solution.
“If you, O Lord, kept a record of sins, O Lord, who could stand? But with you there is forgiveness….Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?” (Psa. 130:3,4a; Rom. 6:1,2)
#2 Make the pursuit of knowing Him the centerpiece of each day. Whatever it takes in re-scheduling, block out sufficient daily time to develop deep intimacy with Christ through prayerful meditation of the Word, solace, worship, and application. If you need coaching on how, get it.
“…I look upon everything as loss compared with the overwhelming gain of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord…I, in fact, am forgetting completely the things that are behind, and am stretching forward to the things that are in front; bearing down upon the goal…” (Phil. 3:7 [Phillips Trans.], 13,14 [ Wuest Trans.])
#3 Take a hard look at your lifestyle. Are you maxed out and under too much pressure? Are you getting sufficient rest and physical exercise? How is the quality of communication and time with your spouse? Are you aware of the “trigger points” that set you off into pornography?
#4 Take whatever measures necessary to cut it off at the root.
“If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.” (Matt. 5:29)
Do you need to cut out TV. or the movies for 6 – 12 months? Or avoid certain publications and locales?
#5 Develop a no-nonsense accountability/transparency relationship with another person (or group); preferably with a believer who is more mature spiritually than yourself.
“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed…(Jams. 5:16)
My prayer is that you are having a great week!